The Beginning...Last Installment

I was emotionally drained after talking with my family, but knew that my father had been waiting for the results. We don't have a particularly close relationship, but since my mother died, I have taken on a lot of responsibilities in regard to his bill payment and medication management. His reaction was benign, and because he is not a nurturing person, I had no expectations that he would be particularly concerned about how I might be taking the news. Even though cognitively I knew he would react this way, it still hurt emotionally, because I simply cannot fathom how a parent would not be overtly concerned about a sick child.

My brother, the pathologist, was the next phone call. He has always been matter of fact, not particularly tactful, and always eager to show you how smart he is. With his photographic memory, I'm happy to have him on my side to interpret information. However, if I were looking to him for comforting support, I'd be in a heap of trouble. His comments to me were "You've passed the surveillance, which you knew you'd had a 30-80% risk due to Mom. So now it's time for you to lop off both your breasts and get a reconstruction. They'll tatoo nice nipples on you too." Nope, this was NOT what I wanted to hear at that moment of time, and after I advised him of the same, and stewed a bit, knowing that I should have expected that insensitive comment, I moved on to call my friends.

It was only the week before that one of the "people" in the group of friends I had hung out with over the years, had a serious health problem. One of the husbands (56 yo) had a heart attack, but after a stent and some rest, he was doing great. I was really the first one to have the big C. Being young (I still consider 53, as young, and so do the breast cancer statistics), no one wants to think we could be hit with anything of a serious nature. After all, we don't feel old. Sometimes, I act and feel like I'm a child, as my family can attest, so surely I shouldn't be experiencing anything as serious as cancer at my age!

One of the positive outcomes of this experience has been that some people I knew in my past (relationships and jobs) have stepped forward, after finding out about my diagnosis through mutual friends, and have called me and sent beautiful supportive emails, chockful of positive thoughts; each reminding me that my world is really much larger than I thought, and the power of their prayers and their kindness will go a long way in helping me beat this challenge.

My college roommate, Lynn, who lost her Mom to breast cancer, one month after my mom died of breast cancer, has been particularly active in Breast Cancer Organizations and fund-raising. She has been a rock of support as I continue to wait for results and my surgery.

Today's Lessons Learned: Love and friendship cannot be purchased with insurance, even with the best possible plan. It is something that is built and nurtured, and if this blog does nothing else, it should remind everyone reading that you should remember to keep that friendship garden nourished and growing.