8 Days Later - The Results

All good news! There was a small papilloma, not visual on the ultrasound, that was causing the bleeding. The cells had changed, but were not malignant. That is all I wanted to hear! This is indeed a wonderful way to end 2009. So...out with 2009. Let's all ring in a happy and healthier 2010!

So Tomorrow's the Surgery

I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 AM for the duct surgery. I'm unbelievably worried about the outcome, but warmed by the support of friends of co-workers. There are three of us that have desks in the same area who have had breast cancer. They have been simply wonderful as we have shared our trials and tribulations over the past year together. One of the woman gave me a guardian angel token to take with me tomorrow. It's been in my pocket for three days as a reminder that people do care, and that sometimes faith is a better protector than we give it. Pray for me tonight...please.

Pre-Operative Testing Day

I was really hoping that the bleeding would go away and I could cancel everything, but I knew it just would not happen that way for me. The reality is that I'm scared I'm going to go through the cancer vortex again, and it's just one place I don't want to go!

It was quite surprising that after 30 years going to my internist, his office could not accomodate me for a pre-op physical. I'm still reeling from a little anger and surprise. Luckily, the hospital where I'm having the surgery on Monday could take care of the exam.

So...I took my letter and went to the hospital this morning. Of course, they screwed up my records. I've become accustomed to not having things turn out the way they should. Ninety minutes later, the admitting officer tells me the problem is fixed, but that was after two chats with the supervisor with my coaxing. We go downstairs for the exam, and the nurse practitioner notes that my name is still wrong with wrong info behind it. She smartly documents manually using my name and birthdate. The exam was fine, as expected.

I sure hope that things are right on Monday...

Nipple Bleeding 14 Months Later

A few weeks ago, I noticed a small blood stain and thought maybe it was from our sweet bichon, Daisy, who had had surgery for torn knee ligaments. A week later, I noticed a similar stain in my bra and on my nightgown in the area of my nipple.

Noticing a dark area at the entrance of one of my nipple holes in the breast where I had been diagnosed with breast cancer last year, I expressed my nipple and out came bloody discharge. Panic was probably the first reaction. This has been a difficult health year up to now, and quite frankly, I don't have the mental energy to handle another crisis.

As soon as I could, I did contact the breast surgeon's office and was sent for an ultrasound of the breast as well as another mammogram. This was a follow-up to a very successful yearly mammogram only 2 months ago. The test results showed that nothing changed. So I am really no more knowledgeable of what is causing the problem as I was before the test.

Per the physician, it could be caused by one of 2 things: papilloma (benign wart-like growth) causing distended breast ducts that bleed or cancer. Usually the papilloma would show on the ultrasound, but it may have been so small it didn't display on my test. So the plan is to remove all the offending ducts and send them to pathology on December 14. I'm very comfortable with this decision, and will have an answer regarding the cause when I go back for my surgical follow-up.

The question then becomes how can DCIS come back so soon since it takes 15-20 years to develop? My understanding is that it may have been there all along, but not been diagnostically visible.

Finally, there are 2 ways to view...if the bleeding is caused by papilloma, the surgery will remove the cause and all will go back to the way it was. If the bleeding is caused by cancer, then I was very lucky to have symptoms to look at this further since diagnostically nothing showed on the tests.

I'll be sure to update as soon as I know more. Happy Holidays to all!

Mammograms are Saved!

The federal government health czars have assured us that the surveillance of mammograms will continue as is. For once, common sense and research results prevail! Of course, this should not prevent any of us from being advocates for our own health care needs.

Please Don't Stop the Mammograms!

New recommendations have been released that are recommending that regular mammograms do not commence until age 50 and then at two year intervals. Two thoughts on this one:
1. This recommendation was made by number crunchers who only look at statistics and cost, or 2. This recommendation was made while ignoring the phenomenal strides made in breast cancer awareness, prevention, and treatment.

As for me, if it were not for a yearly digital mammogram, my breast cancer would not have been "found" before it likely would become a lump, I would have found in a self-breast examination. And who knows? By then, it would likely be invasive, and I could end up dead like my mother of this beastly disease in a short period of time.

The mammogram pointed out a few years before the actual diagnosis that the area where the cancer was found was starting to change. The changes were not significant enough to biopsy but they warranted diagnostic attention. Luckily, for me, I had terrific providers who had the knowledge and expertise to find it early. At this time, my chances of survival after 5 years are close to 99%. I'll probably be more likely to die from something else than breast cancer.

My twenty-something daughters are at a bit higher risk than the general female population due to generational breast cancer and female hormone cancers. Will they be barred from having the surveillance they have been advised to start at age 30? This is totally unacceptable!

Don't let this slide by without taking a proactive stance if you truly believe this is wrong. 1 out of 12 women will have breast cancer in a lifetime. Don't we want all of them to have the opportunity to live as along as they can as healthy as they can?

Oncology Visit - One Year Later

The mammogram was purposefully scheduled a few days before my oncology visit in case there was any discussion to be had over the results. Luckily, all was good. A breast check, review of my latest labs, and a discussion about general health resulted in another year's prescription for Tamoxifen and another appointment in six months. I am grateful that I am one of the lucky ones who doesn't have issues with Tamoxifen and can enjoy its benefits!

First Mammogram After Diagnosis

On October 7, I had my first mammogram since my diagnosis 13 months before. Talk about nervous! I could not wait until it was over. At this point, my radiated skin issues had dissipated and I wasn't having weird pains in the affected breast anymore. I was feeling pretty optimistic.

I get to the Breast Center early hoping to get it over with asap, but one of the techs was late, and all appointments were delayed an hour. I did get a very competent tech who did not mind when I questioned everything I saw on the digital x-ray. She even showed me the x-ray of the actual tumor that was removed during the surgery last year. They use x-ray to determine if they got enough of the tumor out or have to remove more tissues.

After the first go-round, I was called back for more views of the "good" breast. I told the tech that if this was cancer, both breasts were going bye-bye. No more playing with lumpectomies. I don't think my nerves could take it.

While waiting, I went back to the waiting room, and got into a discussion with some of the lovely ladies about breast cancer and recurrence. Finally, the tech called me back and told me everything was fine! I let out a whoop and started to leave...as I was walking out the door in my x-ray gown, the ladies asked me if I wanted to get dressed before I left. It was a good giggle for everyone. Imagine being so excited you forget to put your clothes on!

The good news is that I don't have to return for another year. Things are definitely looking up!

One Year Later ... More Surprises!

Hooray! I survived the first year of survivorship, the last few months being so easy, it was as if I never had any problems. My scar is almost translucent, and all the skin problems from radiation are gone. While going through it, I never thought it would end, but as always, tincture of time cures most of the little things in life.

So one year later, on the anniversary day of my diagnosis, I was in for another surprise. We had gone out to dinner to celebrate, and it was time to go to sleep when I started to get a tummy ache. It started to feel like there was a pump in my tummy being blown up. The pain went into my back and I couldn't get comfortable. This unrelenting pain went on and on, and after 2 hours, I told hubby that we needed to go to an emergency room. Of course, the first thought through my mind was that I had liver mets and my life was over...talk about making a mountain out of a molehill?

So we went to GBMC, where the cancer treatment took place, and I was triaged to wait nearly 7 hours in the waiting room and before I saw a physician. Rule 1: Never get sick on a holiday weekend...even though illness happens 24/7, hospitals still celebrate holidays with skeletal crews. During the time I wait, I finally fell asleep (probably my body's way to deal with the pain) after 4 hours of this awful discomfort. When I woke up, the pain was gone, but I felt we should still see why it happened since it was so unusual.

Turns out I had gallstones that I didn't know about, and one of them had dropped into the common bile duct that passes by the pancreas and blocked the pancreas as well as the bile duct. As a result, pancreatic enzymes used in the metabolism of foods and bile were unable to get to their destinations. This created havoc with my lab values, and I was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis.

Luckily, being a nurse has its privileges. I got absolutely fabulous care, and all the nurses were super friendly and supportive. After 5 days of rest, hydration, and a procedure to roto-rooter my bile duct and put a slit in it to prevent further stones from blocking it, I was sent home. The next step is gallbladder removal, which will happen tomorrow.

If you're reading this today, say a little prayer for me tonight. I really hope this is the end of illness for me for a LONG time.

Back to Being Me...

This year has been one of tremendous personal growth. I know now what is most important. I gave up my Internet business, because I realized I was spending every waking moment working, and more so in a dark crowded environment, that was just depressing. Did some soul searching, and realized I missed some of the hobbies I used to do in the past, so I started needlepointing again with the intent of creating something for the house. Aside from the joy of creating, it is very relaxing.

Not a big fan of taking photos of myself, I recently bit the bullet and David, Rachel, and I took advantage of getting portraits taken with our dogs at the local PETCO. Our only regret was that Carol lives out of town and we could not have all of us in that picture. When we went to pickup the finished photos, I was thrilled! We were all glowing. The dogs were freshly groomed that day and looked beautiful. I ran out, bought frames, and David hung them on the wall last night, so uncharacteristic of my former self. I now want to see life and joy all around me. This morning, when I saw the pictures in our family room, I had a big smile on my face.

These times are very good times, far better in many ways, then the pre-cancer days when I did not know myself as well, and did not appreciate the goodness in my life.
I really believe that the breast cancer was G-d's way of hitting me on the head to say, "Wake up and enjoy all that is around you. You are blessed. Appreciate all that you have. Take better care of yourself. You are loved."